Sunday, January 10, 2016

30 lessons from 30 years

Being blessed with 30 years of life is a special milestone. I mean I've had friends and family dread the big 3 - 0 but I have to say it wasn't the case for me. After hitting 27 I started to wonder about my youth and where the hell did I spend it all? Growing up my mother would always say "Don't spend it all in one go" and I started to worry.

Have I ticked off the necessary items of a late 20 year old checklist?

  1. House                           
  2. Husband                       
  3. Homely comforts          
  4. Career                           
  5. Fat bank account          
  6. Investments                  

According to this list I seemed to have nothing sorted even though I felt happy about my life experiences and what I have accomplished so far. After thinking about this I remembered a conversation I had with one of my friends who was feeling a little stuck in her circumstances and I said to her, Never measure your life and time based on what society dictates as the norm. We are all different and so is the roll out of our life.

From that point on I've felt so at ease with earning another year of life experience. So even though I still feel like a teenager, I'm fine with the fact that I am no longer 20 years old. I loved that time in my life, but I also love the confidence in my own experiences and ideas now. I like not second guessing myself or relying on the media and external sources to dictate my worth.

Here's 30 lessons I've collected along the way.

1) You can be a beautiful and fearless woman without straightening you hair.

2) Just because it is in, doesn't mean it's in. Do your own thing. Be original.

3) Lipstick can literally transform you. Running out the door feeling a little out of alignment? Chose the right colour and you're back on board dominating the game of life.

4) The word 'friend' cannot possibly encapsulate the meaning of those people who you will walk through life with. The ones that really truly 'get' you. They should be called oxygen because without them, I would literally die.

5) Stop second guessing your flavour. Go with it confidently like you did at the Year 7 disco. Of course the long floral skirt looks AMAZING with your teal green snow jacket. Yes you can dye your hair blue and wear baggy tees if you want to. It's all good!

6) Real friends are those people that are not afraid to stick up for you. Everyone else can step aside or be left behind. They don't really have your back.

7) Being patient with your parents will keep you sane and happy. They are still figuring shit out too.

8) Look after your health. I'm typing this knowing that I need to hold myself accountable for some healthy habits I have casually let go since moving to London. It's never too late to start fresh, make choices and do things that will ensure you are happy and healthy.

9) Skimp on an unnecessary purchase of a new bag or shoes if it means you can go to Paris one more time.

10) No matter where you are in the world, family is still EVERYTHING and it's okay to want to be close to the ones you love.

11) Some days we all still feel fugly.

12) There's always tomorrow.

13) Eat that piece of cake or share a meal with the people you love. Eating food is a wonderfully glorious privilege that many still don't get to enjoy.

14) Do not waste hours in front of facebook. Get out and connect with real people. Help someone. Find out their story.

15) You'll probably put on weight as you get older. Doesn't mean you can't lose it if you so wish. It also doesn't mean you're a bad horrible person. It just means you have gotten fatter. Not the end of the world.

16) Don't ever think you're 'too old' to try something new.

17) Actually you MUST do something that scares you. There's nothing like conquering an idea, event or task that you have no idea if you'll achieve the desired outcome. It's liberating to say fuck it and force yourself do something that scares the shit out of you.

18) One of my most used mottos, "Nah it's right". I say this to myself whenever I'm unsure of things or if I'm feeling like shit. This then reminds me of how strong and capable I am. Then I get on with it.

19) I still don't feel like an adult. What is that anyways?

20) Not being in a relationship is okay. I actually enjoy doing whatever I want, whenever I want.

21) I would love to be blown away by someone who is intelligent and kind with interests and ideas about life and how to contribute to this world.

22) I wouldn't mind one day buying a house and raising a family. I think that'd be fun with the right person. I could show them all the best tv shows and songs and we could go on random adventures and dive in waterholes, flashmob a retirement village and cook some really great food and grow organic vegetables.

23) Please please please, travel to a beautiful place you have always wanted to visit. Take a loan out if you need to. Seeing a different world to your own is almost indescribable. JUST DO IT.

24) Force yourself to jog somedays and then run. Cardio fitness is important and you feel alive when you push your body to new unknown limits. Fit and strong, can't go wrong.

25) Give your self time to be alone. Watch a movie, or read that book and listen to yourself. Maybe even stay in bed all day. I did this today. It was the best Sunday I've had in while (although my UP band would disagree).

26) You'll still miss deadlines, but that's okay. Keep setting new goals.

27) Try and go to a concert at least once a year.

28) Delete the multiple selfies and pictures. Keep only your best pictures and print them off.

29) Ask yourself this question. Am I happy? If the answer is no, do 3 things that always make you feel happier / better. If this doesn't help then please refer to 25, 23, and 3.

30) Make a decision. There is no right or wrong. Just choices and outcomes. If things get hard, find at least 3 things to be grateful for daily. Puts it all into perspective.

Please note, it took me over a year to complete this post. I haven't been blogging regularly because I moved to another country and started fresh. I am now 31 and I spent my 31st birthday in Paris at Disneyland. Two places I never thought I'd see. 

Boxing Day

This is the main reason why my sister and I chose to head home for the Australian summer. Family and sunshine. I hope this festive season finds you well and close with your loved ones.

Big love,

Falala Mele

Merry Christmas xo

It's been a while. To be honest, I haven't had a real inclination to blog for quite some time. There's a whole lot of reasons but all of them boil down to a simple I'm just over it. I thought I'd really want to do it when I was living in London, but you know..... reality hit and I realised that I much preferred going out and exploring and that left me little time or desire to document it all.

I still have loads of photos from my numerous trips and for the first time in forever I really felt like coming back to my little blog and sharing something. If not for anything else, then to just have it as another diary entry marking this certain point in my life. 

Christmas is the only time I'm ever really online looking at blogs these days and I only go on to see all of the beautiful Christmas spreads shared from all over the world. Back when I first started blogging, I really just loved having access to other people and their personal style. Along with snaps of personal style choices you were also allowed access to their life....where they ate, travelled to and who they hung out with. I dunno it was all pretty cool as it gave and grew inspiration. 

Now the market is flooded with practically every living human who upload and post looks and content that literally bore me. The old favourites have gained so much popularity that they have carved a serious career out of promoting brands and products. I'm not mad. I love that people have worked hard (and they really do work so hard) and gained success, but I really miss those original voices before the extreme popularity hit. 

I'm really sick and tired of people selling me shit. BRUH, I'm all good. If I wanted the latest shit from ASOS or Evans...I know where to find it. It's almost impossible to go 5 minutes online without an add popping up and being shoved down your throat.You've got half of the world starving and fleeing worn torn countries and the other half giving everyone the scoop on the latest 20% off. Sometimes the imbalance does my head in.

I know.... I'm apart of the world that lives in luxury. I know that the ability to travel is something most of the world cannot afford. I know that living a peaceful existence is a foreign concept to millions of people. I guess I'm at this point in life where I want to be less ignorant to the world around me and more aware of my choices and the impact it has on the world. I also want to always remain grateful for the blessings that I do have. I have a lot. And I am thankful for them.

Spend time with your loved ones, make real memories outside of the perfect instagram picture. Eat some good soul food. Nourish your relationships and seek to repair broken ones. Wear your real face- cause you're beautiful. Say "I'm sorry" and mean it. Challenge yourself physically. Be kind to yourself, and try to look forward to each new experience with the same excitement and anticipation as I do with Christmas. 

My perfect Christmas plate. Loads of delicious stuffing and peas <3

Big love,

Falala Mele